Monday, March 14, 2005

Sheriff had to come and take him away

I start this blog with much trepidation, even fearing for my life as one of the consequences of this blog. These next few posting may even attract a stalker or two. I hope not. The subject that is causing such fear in me is PURSES. There I have said it. I have foretold my future. While trying to decide upon doing this, my wife and I took a trip to BJ’s Wholesale club. We purchased a few misc. items and a table. I was carrying my table around the place, out the checkout line to the security guard line. For those of you who have never been to a buying club: everyone must stop at the guard station; show your Members ID; have the guard inventory your cart against your receipt. If something is amiss I think the real police come and lock you up. Anyway, That is when it happened. The guard inventoried my wife’s cart against the receipt and checked it OK but when it came to my table she could not find the receipt as she paid for the tablet separately. Now we are only 50 feet from the checkout and have not gone anywhere since leaving the checkout. You know what happened to the receipt don’t you? THE PURSE ATE IT!!!!!! Now we are destined to stay there because she must show the guard the receipt before we can advance and everyone else behind us can advance. I only looked back once and saw about 8 carts behind us. Needless to say these are all New Englanders [except for the odd New Yorker and maybe a Canadian or two] and New Englanders grow impatient quickly. I was getting nervous as I sensed a riot mentality quickly developing. The lady behind me had her cart planted in my back and every few seconds I could feel her pushing it trying to get me to move. Her husband had a US Marine Corps jacket on and had a patch on his shoulder that said Marine Sniper , whatever that means. I had sized him up earlier and he didn’t intimidate me because I am a Submarine Vet and Marines know better than to mess with sailors. Finally after about 20 minutes, with about 200 people behind us, all booing and yelling, I heard her say “there it is” and I looked. She had a handful of receipts in her hand and on top was the table receipt. Hooray we are free. Right there and then I decided to broach the subject, take the risk and write the purse blog.

Yesterday morning I was on my way to church and told her I would start her car as we were taking 2 cars. She said “Great” and headed for her purse where she has two car keys. The smaller one is used when someone wants to warm up the car. Don’t you know, the keys are not where they are supposed to be. She checks all of the outside pockets and then all of the inside pockets. No key. She then proceeds to dismantle the purse checking after every handful of contents, to feel for the key. The key is absent. Suddenly I hear “there it is” and she hands me her key, like nothing happened. The purse material, for this blog, just keeps happening as I write. Stay tuned.

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