Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Thursday is D Day

The count down is on. Thursday afternoon at 4 pm I am expected to present myself for a weigh- in at our local chapter of Weight Watchers. My weight is to be recorded, I pay my $10.50, get my books, be properly repremanded for letting my weight go, listen to a lecture about weight loss and pray that there is at least one other man in the building that I can visit with. I will be properly shamed and be expected to be fired up about the new diet plan at the same time [an oxymoronical statement, I believe]. I managed to elude last weeks weigh-in by being really busy at the last moment so I couldn't go. Actually I think my wife was feeling a little bit sorry for me and let me off the hook. My ace-in-the-hole was to be to sick to go but last week I got sick with a cold for real and it lasted 4 days. No one would buy another illiness in one week. Her and my daughter went and came back to report that there were lots of guys present and I wouldn't feel out of place at all. I wouldn't trust those two no matter what. I have lots of stories of them out and out lying to me about things just to get me involved. Pretend trips to get lunch end up with lunch being at the mall. Pleadings based on the deterioated condition of my knees and my bad back fall on deaf ears. Not to be trusted at all!
This has all happened because I have let myself get fat. The last 6 years have been especially bad because I have faithfully put on 10 #'s per year. A mere 1 # per month. 6 years ago I quit smoking and the food really started tasting good. Not that its an excuse because I certainly could have started losing 1 #/month, six years ago instead of putting it on. I am agreeing to this because my wife and daughter have asked me to. I have already had to start eating the diet because that is all that is in the house to eat. Broccoli and cauliflower are everywhere. My mother never made me eat those things so why should I have to now. George Bush #1 didn't eat them because his mother never made him eat them also. This will be a sad day for mankind on Thursday. I hope I escape with my manhood intact. Pray for me.

The latest on Randy. He ate my Sturgis Fire Dept baseball cap from Sturgis Motorclassics 2004. He managed to escape with his life somehow. He also ate a pair of my wife's glasses but that not my problem, if she wants to leave things laying around.

1 comment:

dayna said...

I am very excited for you. I am hoping your wife and daughter are tricking you and you will be the only man there. It's a funny trick. Well, better late than never, if you start now you will soon be fit as a fiddle again.