Colonoscophy

The president has absolutely nothing to do with this posting but it sure makes a great lead.The following message was left as a comment on my posting about my recent stress test ”Now ‘Old man muser’ what you say we compare ‘Colonoscopies’.I'll be polite and let you begin. Best regards and continuing GOOD health from:A grumpy old 63 year old.” This is not my favorite subject to write about but I feel I must. If you are going to soon have a Colonoscophy I would advise you not to read this posting.

I had one because my Dr. said I was 60 years old so I needed one. He asked me who I wanted and I replied that I didn’t care and so he recommended a Dr that was in the building and I said Ok. When I told my wife she came unglued as she knew this woman Dr that was suppose to be the best around and she had never heard of the one I picked. “There is something un-American in the whole concept of having a female stick something up my butt to see if I am sick or not” I shouted. “But she is the best” she equally shouted. [She is really good at this equally shouting thing and it kinda takes the bite out of my shout] “Well it is never going to happen to this butt,” I quietly added. She refrained from answering and only smiled. That must mean I won the argument.

I went to meet the Doc and didn’t really like him. Something about him that I didn’t trust but I went ahead with the whole thing anyway. It was done at the local hospital and I had spent the evening before drinking fowl stuff and taking things to clean me out. Guess it worked because they let me take the test. Don’t remember much because they put me out with something. [My wife would add at this juncture “Probably a club”] I awoke in the middle of the procedure with all sorts of people around the world’s worst gut ache and me. There was a Nurse holding my head telling me “breath deep, it will be over in a few more minutes”. I remember breathing as deep as I could and the pain would not go away and like I would go to sleep again and wake up with this gut ache. Finally it was over and I was in the recovery room when I woke up. I remember the Dr. coming in and saying that they didn’t find anything and left and then the Nurse came back in. “Are you OK?” she inquired? “I thought we were going to loose you in there”. “What” I asked “What are you talking about, because the Dr. came in and said everything went well and I was OK.” She told me how my blood pressure had bottomed out from too much medication as I was responding badly to the pain. The Dr. was doing something wrong and I was being given more and more pain medication to counteract it until they couldn’t give me anymore. That was why I woke up and the Nurse was saying breath deeply, and that was the end of the procedure. Wow. I was way to groggy to fully understand all of this. I went to my regular Doctor and told him what had happened. He told me not to worry because they pulled that Drs, right to practice at the hospital and he had left town…………..What the Hell! When I told my wife about all the details she said those three little words. ”Told you so” and that was the end of that.