Monday, January 31, 2005

Stupid Dog Again

Randy went and got his butt infected and we are all dealing with the lampshade again. Has something to do with his anal gland being plugged, [probably from the apple episode] he scratched it and now it is infected. $250 kaching. Went through two more hoods at $14 kaching, kaching. My daughter and I figured out how to repair them with reinforcing tape and it worked. He just broke them somewhere else. However he got one off and just ate it so no more repairs on that one. She went back to the Animal Hospital and bought two more kaching, kaching plus she got the Dr to write a prescription for a five day supply of tranquilizers, Kaching, Kaching, Kaching. Now he doesn't care about licking his butt, just being a mellow, nice dog so we took the lampshade off. Once again, Go Figure. We should keep him on tranquilizers until he is two and out of the puppy stage.

Prior to Randy we had three nice, little dogs. Two have died of old age and the third is still with us being the most mellow and nicest dog. I have noticed a definite correlation between the price we pay for the dogs and their size. Simon is a Shih Tzu. It cost us about the same to have all three dogs go to the groomers as Randy costs to get a bath and blow dried. Randy eats 3 cups of dried dog food plus one can of a special diet something or other every day[Kaching, Kaching] Simon eats about one can per day. Simon wore a lampshade once and the cost was about one forth of Randys plus he never broke any or ate any. Now that I think about it, Simon never ate any of my hats, glasses, never ate a loaf of bread or a bag of apples. We still have Simon's original leash.

Besides two dogs we also have a guinea pig, Patch his name is and Mike the fish is recently deceased or flushed. Guinea Pigs are not all that they are cracked up to be. We have had two as we did not learn anything after the first one. They stink, they poop everywhere, even in their food dishes, and they do nothing. Come to think of it, the 1st one might have been a hampster. Anyway, about the only value I can find would be for experiments. They absolutely have no other value. Patch comes out of his house twice a day, that I notice. That would be when I am walking by as he squeek/oinks at me because once in a while I give him carrots. Actually I give him carrots every day but that doesn't mean I like him. I have to give him carrots or he won't stop sqeek/oinking at me. Mike was sort of a waste. He really didn't do anything except swim around and around in the bowl. He didn't squeek/oink at me and he never ever ate any of my prized possessions. We never took him to the vets office, didn't even get sick except once and then it was just a simple pushing of the toilet handle and it was over with. I'll admit I never got very close to him though. I'm searching for a moral to this story but I can't find one. Moral's you know are a very good way to end a long story and it makes the reader think that there was something learned. I would guess that the moral would be " all of them are not as bad as keeping cats" but that's a whole different story.


dayna said...

You're strengthening my resolve to never ever get a dog. I wouldn't be a very good dog owner anyways. Sorry but I find your dog woes hilarious.

Ted said...

I can't count the number of dogs we have had over the years. Some memories are sad but most are funny or at least there is a funny side. That's why we keep them.... I think.